One of your denizens, legion as they are, was spotted recently at a local caffeiene-erie:
Madame, you are a Gorey-esque trainwreck; a terrifying rebuke of Wallis Simpson's adage - it is in fact possible for one to be too rich or too thin. Or too magenta-haired. In an orgiastic attempt to achieve attractiveness, you have gone 'round the horn and are making your way back up the wrong coast of grotesqueness.
Just look at those biceps. Like Madonna, only older. *Shudder*
Yamahama.
Why do women think starving their bodies to this degree of emaciation and level of flab-removal makes them look good? This is not to say that men don't make stupid decisions about their appearance (indeed, generally decisions that reflect an entire lack of decision-making: "do these flip flops make me look fat? No? OK."), but, women, often the more masterfully aesthetic gender, you should know better. Having work done that is CLEARLY visible makes you look OLDER, not younger... when you see a forty-year old woman whose nose could cut glass, whose forehead is translucent and looks like it's trying to make a daring escape northward from her eyeballs... this is not, in a word, attractive.
Perhaps a step in the right direction would be to not take your dinner at Starbucks, which seemed to be what was happening at the time. Go home and have some spaghetti. No one will regret it.
Sincerely,
Dear Crabby
PS. Ma'am, none of this is personal - I'm sure you're a very nice woman. XO.
